It's been almost a year since I posted, the last being when Raven had to be put down.
Between then and now...June 2020, so much has happened that kept me from blogging on this specific topic.
We are in the midst of a pandemic; an unhinged maniacal despot is still in the White House and fully supported by his republican lackeys (and that's the last bit of politics that I will dispense) and a world wide recession is ongoing.
I've heard that the Chinese have a unique curse: "May you live in interesting times"..well, that is now, in spades.
People change, and sometimes, it's not to our liking. I am not very happy to say so, but once Raven was gone, his owner and my friend, Sue, surreptitiously, made it known that she had no more interest in maintaining a friendship. She didn't quite come out and say it, -she doesn't have the courtesy to say so. She was certainly happy to have my help in her quest for a new horse, but once she brought the new one home, I was, what the kids call now "ghosted". Meaning, no response to my phone calls, or emails, or texts. When I've actually MET her in passing, she's very friendly and "Let's get together" but ...oops, Covid 19, you know? Or, I never got your text, my phone isn't working, or any number of excuses.
I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I'd be lying if I said I didn't resent it. I am glad I do have a screaming tree...this blog...to vent on.
But in retrospect, we were friends because of RAVEN. The HORSE chose me. The moment I met Raven...and I was leasing an OTTB at the same barn at the time, Raven and I clicked.
Only once before in all my horses have I had the same sort of instantaneous bonding, and that was with my little grey Arab,Jordan.
Raven literally demanded I pay attention to him, and once the lease was up on my OTTB, he somehow managed to convey to Sue that he wanted ME.
I truly believe that had he been capable of making a choice of only one of us, he would have chosen me.
So the trio of friends was born, and maintained, til the day he died.
Do I miss Sue? Well, yes, but I do have my pride. You can't force someone to like you, you can't force yourself on someone else without it being a hair's breadth from stalking. And I've met her new horse, Marty, twice and while he's a very nice horse, he's not Raven.
Do I wonder at her seeming inability to be honest with me? Oh, yes, but that's not how ghosting works, it would seem. She wants me to get lost without saying so, that would make her a 'bad' person. By ignoring my every attempt at contact, and never contacting me, she is plainly saying, why don't you just get a clue and eff off?
I wish she'd come out and say, get lost. That would make the pain lessen and eventually leave.
If it weren't for the fact that while it lasted, I had free access to Raven, I would have said she used me. She did, but I was 'paid' for it...and Raven's love was something I will never, ever forget.
Sooooooooooooo, I am again currently horseless, but...when one door shuts, another opens. My neighbor down the road has a very lovely Lusitano and rides dressage on him...and gives lessons. I chatted (at a social distance) with her yesterday and she offered to let me ride him! Soooooo, here we go again, I hope!
